Fangs for the Mammaries

"Boris," said Natasha, "I've gotten you out of a lot of jams over the years. You'd think you could be straight with me at least once in your long existence. What kind of jam have you gotten yourself into now?"

"I'm not in any kind of jam," I huffed. "I was merely trying to help out Billy here." I proceeded to tell Natasha how Billy and I met and what we were trying to accomplish. Natasha was smiling in the telling but she turned serious immediately.

"You know I don't use my spells except on the most deserving. It's a matter of principle." She looked at Billy who had stopped crying but seemed capable of restarting at any time. "Billy looks as if he couldn't harm a fly." She turned to him. "What horrible deeds have you committed against women that would warrant such a punishment?"

"I'm sure we'd be here all night if we had to listen to all of Billy's misdeeds towards women," I declared. In my own way I was urging Billy to lie like hell. The young man started trembling and turning red in the face so I was sure he had a doozie of a tale to tell us.

"Well, just tell us about the one you're thinking about right now," said Natasha who also observed his discomfort. Billy's confession came out in one breath as if inhaling would cause him to lose his nerve.

"About five years ago I went into Lindsay's bedroom, my little sister, and I tried on her panties but the seams burst on one pair because they were too small and I threw them in the trash thinking no one would notice but my mother found them and my older sister Eileen got the blame and she had to pay for the panties out of her allowance and I just let it happen and didn't say a word and Lindsay started calling Eileen a fat ass and I've been feeling guilty about it ever since." Billy burst into inconsolable tears. Natasha and I were stunned into silence.

I finally spoke. "That...that was the dumbest story I've ever heard alive or dead." I turned to Natasha. "I sincerely apologize for wasting your time, Natasha. I'll make this up to you in some way."