I was married for 3 years before I finally got caught. It happened when my Filipina wife went through my notebooks and found all the gay fantasies I had been writing about. The story she found was one I had just written. It was about a young guy who applies for a modeling job at a gay magazine called TORO.
In the story, The young guy goes to the modeling session, where he poses nude for the publisher/photographer and his wife. Later, the publisher, a big hairy muscleman in his late 40s, comes in and seduces the young model, and they end up making love while the man's wife watches. The twink falls madly in love with the Bull, and can't stop talking about his lover's "big, hairy arms and hairy legs". Well, Nancy found the story and confronted me. She was in a rage, screaming and calling me names like "queer", and "faggot" At first I adamantly denied that I was gay, attributing the story as fiction. But then some thought, some devil, entered my head and whispered:
"Now's your chance! Take it! You know what you are, what you've always been. Take your freedom - now!"
So I admitted to my wife that yes, I AM gay and I want a divorce. I packed a few things - just the bare minimum - I was determined to start my new life with as few encumberences as possible. It was summer, so I put on my skimpiest pair of shorts and a yellow tank top. I wanted to look gay! All the while Nancy was raging at me, crying, cursing. I packed in silence and headed for the door. I turned to look at Eileen and the kids. "Goodbye", I said.
Suddenly Nancy threw me a curve. She ran up to me sobbing and begging my forgiveness. She told me that she was sorry and that she believed my alibi about the fiction. This made this much more complicated! I could stay. Stay with my wife and kids, where it was safe, where they loved me - and let the status quo continue. Nancy and the kids were crying, but I walked out on them because nothing was going to stand in my way ever again! I was determined to have my freedom as a homosexual.
Advertisment