Am I Who I Think I Am?

I was strolling around the mall today wearing one of my favorite girly toe rings with my girly-boy shorts and sandals. I was in one of those moods. I wasn't feeling very manly today and haven't been for quite awhile, but not sure how to feel. When I feel like this. I try to be as feminine as I dare, especially since I'm not sure just what I am right now! I really wish I had to courage to be both!

I like visiting the mall and getting as close to feminine as I dare without being "noticed" as anything other than an unusual dresser. That's why I like to wear toe rings, sandals, ladies shorts, and a shirt with a feminine logo and anything else I think I can get away with. There is a certain cut to the clothes that are unisex at a casual glance, but draw looks from men who probably don't know exactly what drew their glance to "that guy" over there. Designers spend millions to get that glance to "that girl," so why not me? I want to be noticed, but not seen, as I look at the lingerie (Why are baby dolls so hard to find now a days!), the panties (A thong, or something with harder seams that will show through?), shorts (how daring am I this time?), and of course the thin tops that work for my style (Shall I darken my areola's to draw Interested glances, I muse?). Girls have all the fun!

I'm really hoping someday to meet a Mr. Right who knows what to do with a girly boy like me. I need someone who knows what I want because I sure don't! I'm too shy to actually hit on a guy. I never have had sex with one and I probably wouldn't do it right anyway. The guys that did hit on me made me too nervous to welcome their advances. I guess I am doomed to a life of half measures!

In my mall excursion today, I notice a nice looking guy at a jewelry place that sells anklets, toe rings, etc., and decided to sashay over and see what they had. (And gauge his reaction, of course. I need to find someone who is cool, understanding, can read my mind, knows I am scared spitless and on the make at the same time, non-judgmental, gay or bi, holds hands with Jesus, and thinks I am just "normal." Oh yes, and he has to be attractive, strong, and handsome!).